The last line isn’t related but the point still stands.

When you deal with a problematic person your first reaction is to be angry and cause war - one word; don’t.

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The moment you appear unprofessional with weak emotional control - you will not be treated with respect.

People will never look at you the same way. People will no longer think you are trustworthy and credible.

People are suckers for outside appearance.

They think one crash out means you are no longer credible after 100s of successful tasks. So that’s why - when you’re an adult - there’s no such thing as wanting to be liked - only respected.

People liking you doesn’t really matter - in the eyes of problematic people - it’s nothing more than just something they think they can walk all over.

So many people tolerate disrespect and allow others to walk all over them. They don’t understand the more you allow people to walk all over you - the more they will do it.

At some point in your life - there will always be at least one asshole you meet -and when you’re ready - you will be like the guys you see online doing everything wrong and being viral about their stupid reactions (e.g. karen fights)

Dealing with problematic people is more about strategy and less frustration. It’s stressful to deal with someone who lacks common sense and rationalization but it will be more stressful if you don’t know how to deal with them.

Such people are not happy and are only looking for problems.

The better you deal with assholes - the better your life will become. Because problematic people are one of the hardest people to deal - so the moment you are able to navigate the situation socially - know that you have high social skills.

And having high social skills allows you to a lot of opportunities most people are oblivious to (e.g. salary negotiation, flirting with beautiful women, creating your own opportunities through brute force confidence).

Dealing with a problematic person is straight up pain. I know because just yesterday I had to deal with one. You lose energy, you lose time, you lose patience, and you lose sleep.

When you deal with a problematic person it feels like all of your frustrations are coming out - that’s because of injustice. When someone refuses to listen to you while you know you are right and they frame it as your fault even though they are the one at fault - you will feel a burst of anger inside of you.

That’s injustice. Because as humans we have moral compasses built inside of us. When you know this moral compass is being manipulated and you’re aware of it - you feel anger as a retaliation to such obvious ploy people do.

But dealing with problematic people is actually much simpler.

• You don’t need better arguments.

• You don’t need to construct the perfect reason.

• You need better control, stronger boundaries, and the awareness to know when someone is not worth your time.

The mistake most people make is trying to change that person instead of changing how they deal with them. But in this letter I will tell you how with open clarity.

Aim for control not winning

You can never win against a person who’s is just too stupid and egotistical to admit they are wrong.

So what do you instead? You control the frame.

Most people approach these situations the wrong way.

They engage too much, explain too much, and tolerate too much. That’s why they end up drained.

The real skill is knowing how to deal with people without letting them affect your focus, mood, or direction in life.

• The moment you try to change them, you lose.

• The moment you try to out-argue them, you waste time.

• The moment you react emotionally, you give them power.

Having the right solution won’t fix it. Having the right answers won’t solve the person.

Some people are just never meant to understood but dealt with. No matter how much compassion you try to give, if a person is unwilling to learn and admit their fault- the conversation becomes worthless.

To control the frame you first need to control yourself.

That means controlling your moods, controlling your reactions, controlling your boundaries and knowing when to stop.

Because you can never control the other person. You can only control yourself.

So the best way to control the frame when you deal with a problematic person is by being calm. When they are being emotional and you stand there like a rock- they will look like an idiot.

Most people are just too stupid to realize who’s right or wrong when cortisol is running up their veins.

That’s why you have people getting fired from their job. That’s why you have cases of homicide - when you control your emotions and your reactions you never give the person power over you.

And that’s frame. When you give away your reactions you lose frame. When you over-explain you lose your frame.

Dealing with shit heads is not easy but simple. Control the frame and you control the outcome.

Never enter an argument

I made the mistake of entering an argument and what it lead to was 10 minutes of pointless discussions about a fact that has already been verified and checked.

The moment you enter a useless argument, just know that you will lose energy and mental bandwidth.

Some people are just meant to be ignored. When an argument starts over nothing - it leads to nothing.

When someone just wants to cause problems - the person who engages on them ends up having to carry the problems. Thus it is much better to just straight up ignore a problematic person if they ever want to start an argument.

Just say “okay” and look away. Saves you trouble and stress (learn from me). Don’t be stupid and let your ego get in the way. It never leads to anything good.

Do not argue no matter what.

Never fix them

You can never fix a person. When a flat earther says the earth is flat and not round - no matter how much evidence, proof and credible findings you give them - they will never change their mind.

Most people are just so stuck in their own ways they will never consider others people’s viewpoint even if they are wrong. So never try to fix a problematic person. Just don’t.

Know when to walk away

Probably the best advice to ever exist when you’re caught in a situation that the asshole is unwilling to solve the problem and just waste time - just leave.

When people are being assholes just leave and find an exit.

So what if they feel offended? Your mental health is much more precious than the stress they bring.

You can also slowly exit in a way that you make excuses “oh right I forgot I got to get something” or “oh shit I forgot about xyz bye”. Swearing is not good but it makes your reaction to something you forgot more genuine and real.

That’s pretty much about it.

If you ever feel the need to humiliate someone in public - don’t.

That will only give you a hidden enemy that might strike at any moment.

The best way to deal with problematic people is just to walk away, never interact with them again and safely navigate the situation.

If you end up fighting - you both go to jail.

If you end up arguing - you waste time.

If you end up being emotional - you become unprofessional.

You shouldn’t interact nor respond to these types of people.

They aren’t worth a single second of your time.

When you want to burst from a problematic person - just remember the lessons from this letter.

I would’ve killed to have known this much younger.

That’s all.

See you next time

-Noat

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