I remember the days where I’d wake up, watch YT videos, laugh at memes then play video games until it’s after noon.

Only at 1-2pm I would actually start doing my assignments and homework for school.

My life was pretty miserable back then and I blame myself for not solving the addictions I have early.

The reason why addictions are hard to overcome is because they are readily accessible and are fulfilling an unmet need,

Like video games. Deep down you want to achieve great things in life. Video games fulfill that need by giving you in game achievements and medals. They matter in the game but in real life they’re worthless.

Addictions are coping mechanisms.

When a person is happy about his or her life - he will not look for other things. Because he is whole. And because most people feel a void inside themselves that they cannot explain and it makes sense that they try to fill it by doing bad habits.

Porn, video games, drugs and alcohol has become readily available to us. And because it’s so available we can get it anytime we want.

There is almost zero friction if you want to watch porn. It’s literally free. Back then you had to buy it and be an adult. Now you got google. One search and you’ve seen more n(de) girls than a king in ancient times and that’s a big problem.

Because when there is no friction, desire is easily satiated. And when it is satiated the desire for more will come and the bar to become satiated once again will become higher.

Because we humans are suckers for comfort and pleasure. We are hard wired to want easy wins and always aim to get things done in the easiest and fastest way possible.

And that’s why when we want something that’s hard to get — we try to replace it with something artificial that satiates that need.

Like p*rn.

Why do you think people watch p*rn? Well they want sex and intimacy.

And because most people don’t have it — they look for it in p*rn.

It’s not just a simple addiction that feels good for you dick.

It’s a fundamental desire exploited for profit. P*rn makes a ton of money. And that’s because it satisfies a need even if the results are negative.

You will always want intimacy and sex. That’s hard wired in your DNA. That’s also the reason why you exist right now reading this letter.

Is that bad? No. It’s a normal desire. It’s part of being a healthy male. But what’s bad is satisfying that need by using artificial means.

Like using p*n and jacking off at it.

I know I’ve pissed off many of you right now. Well just unsubscribe - The Improvement Letter is honest and we don’t make sugar coated lies here.

The allure of addiction

Many people do not realize this truth until they’re either too old or about to die. We often lie to ourselves as a means of coping mechanisms.

What we like to drown ourselves in — is a form of self-projection about our inner unmet needs.

Before I quit gaming and other bad habits. My life was pretty distracted. I didn’t really have anything I would love forward too.

Life was pretty bleak and honestly boring.

Instead of focusing on my goals I would go entertain the thoughts I have and they are mostly about wasting time.

And that’s where addiction comes in. It gives you this promise that it will give you happy feelings and emotions when life is boring.

It entices you that it can solve your stress and worries.

The problem with addictions is they really do give you what you want. However the catch is —it’s temporary and fake. Gaming for an hour will make you forget most of your problems. But after 1 hour you will go back to your unhappy life.

The same goes to smoking. People who smoke go back to smoking because the effect of relaxation it gives is temporary and will disappear the moment the cigarette has been burned out. That’s why smokers burn many packs in a day.

Addictions done purely for the enjoyment of it is rare. Addictions done to numb ones feelings and emotions about their miserable life is common.

How the mind weakens by indulging in bad habits that leads to addictions

The mind is a malleable muscle. It gets weak fast and strengthens slowly. You will need at least a month of dopamine detox to make your dopamine baseline normal again but it will only take 3 days of consecutive exposure to watching shorts and TikTok brain rot content to become overstimulated.

Habits are a fundamental part of human life.

When you walk, do you think of every individual step you have to take?

No right?

The same goes to your bad habits. Oftentimes we’ve become so used to scrolling in our phones and reaching out to it - that it almost becomes automatic.

I’m no exception.

There are moments where I’d realize myself going for my phone even if I didn’t have to.

I had gaming addiction. I would game for at least 6-10 hours a day playing League of Legends and other PVP games. And that almost started by me reaching out my phone the moment I wake up.

It stayed like that for years until I decided not to anymore.

What fixed this was clarity and goals.

When I knew what I wanted to do, the actions steps I had to do became easier. My first ever goal was to lose weight and I lost weight thanks to having clarity (If you want to also do that but don’t know how Live Intentionally: 90 Day Self-Improvement Program By Harsh Strongman will help you out. It’s one of the products that are genuinely life changing if you put in the effort).

I was overweight. For as long as I could remember all I wanted to do was lose weight. Being fat sucks.

Clothes don’t fit or they’re either too small. You can’t even bend properly. When something falls down and you have to get it — it feels like you’re working out.

People treat you worse. Your clothes will constantly go over and your skin will be out most of the time because your clothes don’t fit properly.

Being fat is not fun at all.

How to overcome bad habits and prevent them from becoming addictions

The way to overcome a bad habit and addiction is to design your place that allows friction for the bad habit to happen.

• If you struggle with porn do not stay in your room. Because comfort makes it easier for your brain to seek pleasure. Take notice when you lie down and you feel good you’ll have thoughts of wanting to watch porn. Because comfort correlates to pleasure. When you’re at rest the mind wants pleasure.

• If you struggle with stress eating or eating too much junk food then don’t buy them. Easier said than done but practice is all practice.

• If you love eating sugar don’t buy any sugary products. It’s actually simple just not easy to do. Just like how you block p*rn doesn’t mean you will not find ways to watch it.

For starters do this: Throw all your junk food away. Start to install porn blockers, Start to buy only healthy foods, absolutely no sugary products and no buying of alcohol and putting them in your freezer if you’re an alcoholic.

They might not sound much but as a person who used to struggle with bad habits all you need to do is start.

Then when you fall off just get back. You are not supposed to be perfect. So of course you’ll mess up. Just continue.

Replacing the bad habit

After you’ve done the initial steps what you need is replacement.

To truly conquer a bad habit you need to replace it with a good habit.

For example if you always wake up and scroll in your phone every morning, replace it with journaling or taking daily walks.

It’s such a simple maneuver but the process of how it becomes a part of your identity is something many people do not understand.

Bad habits need to be replaced.

By what? Good habits.

Good habits are those that improve your mental, physical and spiritual health. Because bad habits do the opposite.

• If you struggle to put your phone down like it’s almost compulsive - aim to replace things with pen and paper. Do not write on your phone or computer. Do it on paper. Anything that you can do in paper, do it on paper not in your phone. Like listing groceries and writing down ideas.

• If you struggle with p*rn go out frequently. Not parties but just talking to people and taking walks. Be more social. Isolation makes you want intimacy.

• If you struggle with gaming, find out what you liked doing as a child. Gaming gives you similar feelings like how you are pursuing your passion. And that’s why it’s hard to quit. Because you think you’re pursuing what you love but it’s actually just an artificial fun made to numb your feelings about achieving great things.

Bad habits require fixing because if you don’t - they will ruin your life. It’s rare that laziness ruins your life and potential.

It’s more about indulging in bad habits and never doing anything to fix it.

Willpower

Willpower is a complex topic that involves mental health, focus and clarity. As of now you don’t need willpower.

What you need is to act and start replacing the bad habits with good habits.

Will power comes later once you’ve started making progress. Because as of now I’m pretty sure you have no willpower.

If that’s the case I highly recommend you go and schedule time for you to indulge in bad habits. It’s no longer coincidental but something you’re doing consciously to keep yourself from going insane.

Yes it’s reasonable to say —if you suddenly quit all your bad habits—you are most likely to have depression.

Withdrawal pangs are real. And they hurt. It’s like talking to demons.

As a rule do separate your day to 80:20. 80% intentional effort during the day. Doesn’t have to be all good habits but just something you want to do and need to do.

Like doing house chores, doing your hobbies etc. Then allow yourself 20% of time wasting activities. Play games, binge watch YT but when it’s time to stop you stop.

Because oftentimes the bad habits we have are automatic. So when you start to act on them consciously - you start you rewire your brain to think differently.

It’s no longer automatic but intentional. And it’s something many people do not know about. Just like how so many people live on autopilot - making your automatic bad habits - become intentional is progress.

If you scroll intentionally you’ll start to hear yourself become more reasonable and saying it’s a waste of time instead of just letting your reasonable thoughts get buried.

A few notes to understand

While you’ve read this you might think that this is easy. No it’s not. It will take months of progress before you make results.

You won’t be able to do this in just a week or 3 days. You’ll need to be patient. It will literally take longer than you think.

That’s precisely why you will need to put off your expectations. Do not expect that this will make your life go from 2/10 quality into 11/10 quality.

It’s more reasonable to say it will go from 2/10 to 5/10. Which is pretty high progress.

That’s about it.

Many people will never start because of the effort and patience it takes. If that’s you, turn off your expectations.

Just move and act with good habits like you’re a robot. Because expectations kill motivation and discipline.

That’s it.

Good luck and see you next time

-Noat

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