Being happy comes from being grounded. Being grounded comes from knowing yourself. Knowing your worth and knowing how much value you bring.

Many people do not understand this. Precisely because deep down they unconsciously realize they are worthless.

A harsh saying indeed. However most of you lack self-esteem. And that’s because deep down you look at yourself without any value.

That’s why you let other people walk all over you. Let them cross your boundaries. And this all causes misery. Happiness comes from protection and assertiveness.

To protect what makes you happy and what keeps you aloof. Your mind saves whatever happens to you and that’s cruel if everything that has happened to you is all bad.

And that’s even more painful when all you’ve done in your life is waste time and never put in proper effort.

When you’ve lived your 20’s aimlessly - it’s hard to be happy. Because your peers are going to do better than you.

• You will feel worthless.

• You will see Anna getting married and you’re single.

• You’ll see John getting promoted and you’ll compare your broke wallet

Most people are depressed. And that’s because most of them are not loved and not needed. When you are useless- you get treated like a useless tool. Ignored and forgotten.

You might say “but happiness comes from the inside” and that’s true. And that’s why you’re unhappy.

Because there’s nothing inside you. You have no real beliefs and opinions. You’re a sheep that follows whatever the world throws at you. And that’s painful. So long as you never realize what you want in life - you will always remain unhappy.

You can only deserve happiness never wish for it

Happiness is like a woman. If you crave it - it runs away but when you build yourself able to accept it’s real nature - it knocks in your door wishing to be a part of your life.

Being stressed free and having a clear mind is one of the requirements to be happy. You can always feel happy but it will never last so long as your inner work is unfinished and your inner child has never been once given attention.

If you wish to be happy - you need to earn its right. You need to understand what composes of it’s structure and how you can protect it.

Happiness is elusive.

The more you crave it - the more it runs away.

Happiness is a feminine energy. When you think of happiness - you think of people smiling and laughing. And the images that will come to your mind is your Mother and spouse being happy.

It’s normal. You can never want happiness and get it. You can only deserve it like a reward.

And that points us to the next lesson

Most people are unhappy because they’ve never worked hard

Before you can become happy you first need to suffer. Because happiness alone does not make you happy. It makes you spoiled and corrupt.

When everything is pleasurable - you become weak. Your mind becomes duller. Your body becomes weaker.

Happiness comes from effort. From the pain you’ve had to suffer in order to attain the reality you want (goals). And because most people have never tasted real suffering - they are unable to appreciate the good things about life.

Those who’ve never been broken once cannot be trusted. Because they themselves do not know who they really are. You can only attain happiness when you understand what it’s like to have nothing.

But the kind of suffering you want is not the useless type. The kind that makes you grow intentionally.

Like working out. To lose weight and build muscle - you need to suffer by going to the gym even when you don’t want to.

When you have to put vegetables in your mouth even when you don’t want to..

When you have to workout and fight with your mind about how everyone is judging you.

This kind if suffering is not very painful but useful.

It makes you grow become a better person. An adult who’ve never suffered and had everything handed down to them - will think life is sunshine and rainbows are up for a painful truth when Mom and Dad stops supporting them.

To have everything going wrong is when you start to appreciate little things that are going right. Humans are funny creatures. When it rains we want it to be sunny. When it’s sunny we want it to rain.

Because man is never satiated

Man is never satisfied

Pleasure is the mask of cheap happiness. It makes you crave more of that dopamine hit purely because your mind thinks it’s finally become stressed free. This is why people drink.

They wish to experience happiness through relaxation. To never worry about problems in life. To know what it’s like to be a child again. To understand where it all started to go wrong. Happiness is a drug to many people who do not understand it’s true nature.

To those desperately clinging to it - you will never feel it again. Because happiness goes away when you crave for it. You can never get it only deserve it. And that’s why man is never satisfied with happiness because it’s not what they think happiness should be.

The idea of “If I finally get X thing I’ll be happy is flawed. Depending your happiness to a person or something outside of yourself is volatile and will hurt you a lot”.

Ways to be happy

The best way to become happy is to look at your inner child’s dream and make it a reality. Those who kill the joy for their passion become bitter and senile much early.

Life does not care about what you do. It only gives you the result you deserve. If you settled for less - you will be given a less quality life. If you’ve always been a painter but became an accountant as an adult- your quality of happiness will become lower. You can be good at what you hate but you can never love what you dislike.

Happiness goes both ways.

Being stress free is one of the best ways to attain clear thinking. When emotions don’t get in your way - you make better decisions and judgements. And those results to a better life quality.

Because life is the sum of your decisions. And the quality of it is disproportionate to your quality of thinking.

Being social is another way of understanding what happiness is like to other people. Everyone’s interpretation of happiness is not the same yet the feeling we feel is always the same.

If you wish to understand happiness you must first associate yourself with happy people and study them. Even then you may be able to grasp it’s true nature. Which many people fail to do. Happiness is a by product never a feeling

Personally I’m a jolly person and that’s because of internal work I’ve done. These shallow tactics about happiness only works short term.

If you truly want to taste true happiness - you need to start building.

True happiness is fulfillment. The feeling of accomplishment. The feeling of “I made progress today” is happiness.

As a man you should always be building. The moment you stop and become idle is the moment you invite misery to come.

Personally when I stop writing I feel my body and brain in denial. It urges me to write and articulate my thoughts. I am whole when I let my ideas out. I am me when the words inside my mind are written. And I am most fulfilled when things I’ve been working hard are paying off.

Am I happy? no but am I fulfilled? Yes.

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Why people give up in life

There are many reasons why people give up in life.

The main reason is conformity.

People do not like change. Because change is painful and destroys the rigid routine that people have built since they were a child.

Settling for less is where misery stems. When you know you could’ve done better but didn’t is a constant wrestle with your mind.

Because the mind is unforgiving. It’s worse than a bully because it’s with you 24/7. It will never stop reminding you of the life you could’ve lived. Unless you decide to change it.

That’s why many seniors are senile and cynical. They are not living the life they wanted.

They don’t know what life could’ve been.

And I don’t blame them. Self-help books didn’t really exist back then. There were some but they were too hard to understand.

And I myself would never know the concept of self-improvement if the internet was never invented- I will still be the old me who’s lost in life.

People give up on life because they think there’s nothing they can do about that will change their life trajectory completely.

Most people never even try risking a business once. They are comfortable having a job and a boss.

Because it’s comfortable. Conformity feels good. Change does not.

And today I leave you with a task.

Break your conformity. Suffer more.

You need to taste pain enough that it angers you to change your life around completely.

Life is brutal. Never give it a chance to be stronger than you.

Action Step: Read the following

Today’s letter is not practical. And is a continuation of the previous letters I’ve wrote.

Action Step: Read the following

Today's letter is not practical. And is a continuation of the previous letters I've wrote.

https://theimprovementletter.substack.com/p/why-suffering-makes-you-a-better?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2

https://theimprovementletter.substack.com/p/how-to-deal-with-overthinking?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2

That’s it.

See you next time.

-Noat

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