Men are lonelier than ever thanks to social media and unrealistic standards.

There are 3 main culprits why many men are lonely.

And let's tackle them today.

1) Lack of Self-Esteem

The reason why many men feel shit when they are alone is because they are unable to confront their inner demons.

Every time their mind says something negative about them—they break down and pursue hedonistic habits in order distract themselves from their own thoughts.

Not only this leads to self-loathing it can also make you self-isolated.

Take note of the world "self-isolated". It happens when you are living the life you currently hate. You live as if you don't know anything about yourself—and because you live like a stranger to yourself—most of the things you do—you end up regretting and keep replaying in your mind out of guilt.

You become irritated and most of the times angry because of factors that was once in your control but now cannot be.

Think of the uncles who do nothing but chug alcohol and beat up their family.

Lack of self-esteem is the main culprit when it comes to shyness and lack of social skills.

You will only make friends and make progress in social skills once you understand you need exposure.

Exposure to people being irritated at you, being angry at you, being kind at you, and finding someone you click with.

It's kind of stupid where I see people ask how to become socially skilled personally when they don't even try to talk to people they know.

I've heard stories where they know the person who they saw coincidentally when going out was someone they know in high school or from college but despite of that fact—they are either to shy or overthink too much that they don't even say hi or hello to that person.

Lack of self-esteem is due to many reasons. One of the things I can think of is over comparison in social media.

You must understand people use social media to show off. Nobody ever uses social media to flaunt their mistakes.

That's why when you see your friend doing better than you—understand that their whole life is not as good as that highlight. It is just the event they want to show off.

I fell victim to this problem many years ago. It became bad to the point I would compare myself to everyone I saw.

Every time I would see a friend doing better than me—I'd feel angry and sad at myself thinking "why not me?".

Realizing how I used to go through this problem many of you have been cursed with this as well.

That's why the moment you wake up and you scroll in social media—you'll feel shit instantly.

Social media is painful to use because it makes you exposed to what you can want but can't get.

Men’s lack of self-esteem comes from a simple reason: LACK OF COURAGE.

• The lack of courage to talk to the girl they like.

• The lack of courage to speak up and make friends.

• The lack of courage to take the opportunities in front of them and some how f*ck it up.

No man is happy if he is a coward.

He will continue to self-destruct and involve others in his downfall.

Courage is the antidote to shame

Man will only become free once they confront their insecurities.

Until then—you will continue to struggle with your self-confidence.

You are not a special snowflake. You know this deep down and because you continue to reject this reality—you continue to become miserable. This is what I talked about in Why A Lot of People Become Miserable Copycats (And Fail To be Unique)

No one will openly tell you this.

If you want to understand the reality of life as a man get The Illimitable Men Audiobook (26.5 Hours of Narration) This will wake you up in a world where many people are brainwashed. You will listen and your attitude and behavior will change. The way you speak and act will differ. You will no longer be the same person after being exposed to truth. Lies will no longer be tolerated.

2) Denial

I pick that post one because he had courage to admit to himself he is lonely unlike many other people who continue to deny it.

"Distractions are just distractions -- how do I actually solve it and heal from it?"

There are many ways to cope with loneliness.

The first one is acceptance.

You'll need to understand what your insecurities are, what kind of traumas you have and why you want to get out of loneliness.

This is letter is not enough to talk all about this topics.

But let's focus on acceptance.

Something I always notice with people is this—no matter how perfect you may think someone is—they will always have something they will be insecure about.

The only person who doesn't have an insecurity is a dead person.

Acceptance is hard. You won't be able to do it in one day, one month or one year.

It's a lifetime process. Many fail to accept their inner insecurities because they failed to listen, and many will continue to struggle unable to forgive themselves.

You will continue to hate yourself unless you are able to accept your past and present self.

That means—you have to move on from your faults, traumas and the people you once hated.

This is why I always preach journaling. So many people in the world could be happy if only they are willing to look at the mirror without lying and forgive themselves. Read this letter if you want more of that topic: How To Be Happy (What Most People Fail To Understand About Happiness)

This one deserves its own letter so I'll write a more thorough topic about it. Let me know if you're interested about this.

3) Average Mindset

The title itself is explanatory.

Many people seek love and companionship out of peer pressure and media influence.

Don't give me the excuse that you are not looking for a partner. Stop coping. Whatever you say—you will always have the desire of wanting someone to love.

Saying you only want friends is BS.

We have evolved to seek family and community in order to survive. Don't think you can escape this evolutionary trait engrained in your DNA.

I say average mindset because many people follow what other people do.

When they see their friend having a girlfriend—they are also compelled to get a girlfriend.

This is much worse than it used to be because of social media. Now everyone can share their experiences about having a girlfriend or boyfriend.

And you the one who reads it—will also be compelled to find one in order to experience what they were talking about.

If you are someone in your 20's and very far from your goals you should have no worries about getting women.

Your worries should be how to get jacked, became charismatic and fixing your mental health.

I've always find it stupid for men who want a girlfriend while being fat and depressed.

Fix yourself first. If you get into a relationship with your current self—you'll only get yourself f*cked up more.

You will not be able to stop thinking about the girl who left you and you'll become more docile and stupid.

There's the villain arc where people go to the gym after getting heart broken. Well it's good that happens however it’s unnecessary.

Only 5% of heart broken men are able to channel their emotions properly. The other 95% can't move on and continue to f*ck up their lives.

And you are most likely one of them. It's much better for you to start self-improvement without the anger and guilt.

Today's letter is even more shorter than the usual ones I send out.

Let me know if you prefer this style. Go read the other letters I've linked.

See you next time,

-Noat