What to do when you don't know what to do

Why you keep lying to yourself even if you don't want to

Author

Everyday Improvement
July 30, 2025

“If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an eradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.”

-Viktor Frankl

This letter was inspired after a subscriber talked about how he/she cannot act without being commanded. And here's my thoughts.

It's normal to feel lost in life. You being lost is actually a sign that you don't want to stay the same which is a good.

The problem is you don't know what to do which is— kind of BS….

You actually know what to do— you just don't want to do it. You know about good habits but you pretend that you need to know more to start.

You hoard knowledge for no reason.

Meditating for the first time can be hard and boring. Going to the gym for the first time can be intimidating.

You actually know what to do but you just want it easy. You follow useful advice but only for a day and you wonder why it isn't working.

You want easy results so you don't have to think about what's important to you because getting what you want is easier than working for what you need.

You don't want to confront the negative reality that after all you've been saying you want to change—you haven't and that actually hurts you.

This letter isn't about making you depressed, sad or angry. It's a wake up call to those who keep believing they can't do it just because they didn't do it in the past.

Most men cannot handle their own emotions and would rather run away and deny the negative feelings they have inside because their afraid of confronting their true self which is a loser.

Do you know why so many people never achieve anything significant in life?

It's simple—they always lie

  • They lie about their abilities,

  • They brag about things they haven't done.

  • And they're afraid of people finding out they aren't actually shit so they keep lying.

  • "If only I had this skill"

  • "If only I was as good as X"

The first step to growth is being honest.

You are honest enough to admit that right now—you are low value person. The girly quotes like "you are enough" or "you don't have to change" are all BS.

And I'm honest enough to tell you all of this even if it means pissing you off.

What a man needs is tough love. Because men find meaning in suffering.

Being soft won't save you. Lying to yourself about what your true self right now won't save you.

Brutal honesty and optimism is what you need if you truly want to change.

Change comes from acceptance. To accept that you are not enough.

You saying you can't change unless you have a concrete plan is a lie. What you really want is security. To make sure you get the highest growth and progress.

You want to maximize your growth and achieve your goals in the shortest time possible because you're afraid of failure and want to catch up to all the time you wasted.

You're afraid things might go wrong so you need to rely on someone.

Being coached, advised is an entirely different subject to following whatever someone is saying.

Coaching is you receiving personal feedback and advise from someone who has more skills and experience. A good example is a basketball coach.

A basketball coach might be old but he has enough experience to see what kind of formation will work on the competing team. He has observational skills that allows him to guide his players on what they have to do in order to win the game.

This is what I do in with my 1:1 consultation calls. You get 1 hour of call time and 1 week free 24/7 chatsupport. You can ask me anything about self-improvement or what you have to do and you'll get personalized advice.

Most of us pretend everything is alright even if it’s not. We often make judgements that are delusional.

I've met a fat man and he says he is skinny. I've met a person who lacks discipline and says he is going to become successful.

The lies we tell ourselves is what holds us back.

Being optimistic is not the same as lying. Optimism is the willingness to take on problems even if they seem impossible to change.

Lying on the other hand is saying "I'll do it tomorrow" but a year has passed and you still haven't done it.

Many people will be pissed off about this letter but I don't care.

The Improvement Letter is blunt and honest. If you don't like it—the unsubscribe button is below.

How to Overcome The feeling of Hopelessness

I know you'll ask "but what if I feel depressed after accepting all of these brutal truths'?

You just lack ambition, drive and energy. Get physical and mental health fixed.

I saved this for last so people who got pissed off won't read this lesson.

People who get depressed after learning truths about life aren't necessarily depressed—but rather it's their identities being destroyed built on lies.

It's extremely painful when you realize you weren't actually the person you say you are but that's actually the point.

If you achieve your goals easily you are more likely to become docile and weak. When there are no challenges anymore to challenge your skills and credibility—life becomes boring.

Boredom in itself isn't bad. However knowing there's nothing more you can do in this world is actually depressing.

Men are built on meaning. Without meaning you will become unfocused, distracted, weak minded and easily manipulated.

In other words people who are easily depressed after learning a few truths about life are "thin skinned". They lack reflection and haven't experienced excruciating pain and losing valuable things in life.

They've lived a sheltered life. They haven't learned how cruel the world is and they think it's rainbow and sunshine's.

The real world is more dangerous than you think. The social games you have to play so you don't get fired. The way you speak and look that determines if opportunities come to you... is one of the many ways life functions.

Right now you feel miserable because you know deep down there's nothing worth about you. Even if there is, you can't see it due to your lack of awareness.

You haven't learned the pain of what it's like to bear responsibilities that aren't proportional to your age. You haven't reflected deeply enough to understand what you truly want.

People who are depressed in life aren't necessarily full blown losers—but likely those who had dreams but gave up along the way.

They'll always wonder what life could've been if only they pursued their dreams. They'll always regret the decision of quitting and always remember the pain of what it's like to lose something you know you could've gotten.

Quality is a product of quantity. The countless repetition and revision to make your input better is called practice.

So just because you aren't getting the results you want doesn't mean it isn't working.

The first 50, 100 and 200 will suck. It's around 700-1000 tries that makes you good and see substantial progress.

You learn by doing not by theorizing. So many people forget this fact.

That's all for today.

Thanks for reading,

-Noat

When you’re ready, here’s how I can help you out:


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